SMOKIN’ & RASSLIN’

𝐑𝐚𝐰 𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟐𝟎𝐭𝐡 (𝟒:𝟐𝟎 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

It’s the debut episode of Smokin’ & Rasslin: Raw edition and today just happens to be April 20th.

How about that?

In honour of today’s date, let’s take a minute to soak in this wisdom from WWE Hall of Famer, The Godfather:

“Roll a fatty for this pimp daddy light that blunt(or stinky green, or hydro) up and say PIMPIN AINT EASY!

I know i aint the only one, is there any pimps up in this hhhhhhhhoooooouuuuuuuuuussssssssseeeeeeee??

If you like what you see then light it up for the Godfather!”

The Golden age of wrestling, my friends.

Ok…time to roll in (haha too easy) to the show that’s one hour too long…

Show kicks off with a replay of last weeks Andrade vs McIntyre match. Champion vs Champion.

I forgot Andrade beat him for the strap in NXT.

Looks like it was a good match up. Maybe the buzz I’m hearing that the main shows are picking up steam has truth to it?

Wouldn’t know it from the ratings though.

Seth is much more natural as a heel. Him and McIntyre should be good.

Why doesn’t the Monday Night Messiah just amalgamate his current flock with Zelina’s stable.

Tonight kicks off with McIntyre coming out to cut a promo.

Still so strange watching these empty arena shows. It’s like watching a Tampa Bay Rays game.

McIntyre vs Angel Garza tonight. I wonder if they’ll be any interference?

McIntyre goes ahead and makes the title match official for Money in the Bank.

The crowd goes mild.

Out comes Zelina Vega w/ Garza & Austin Theory.

Andrade attacks from behind.

Huge Claymore from Drew to Andrade. And another one for good measure.

I’m really looking forward to this Corporate Ladder MITB match. You can’t say it ain’t Innovative.

3 qualifying matches are scheduled for tonight.
Mysterio-Murphy
Aleister-Theory
Crews-MVP

MVP! Ballin!!!

I used to really dig his theme music.

It’s always interesting to figure out the logic behind these qualifying matches in Kayfabe. Like why do some of these guys deserve a shot?

Is it now because Zack Ryder’s not around? Heh.

I’m gonna say: Murphy/Black/Crews advance.

I’m liking the idea of Zelina Vega building up a stable of clients.

I miss the days of stables like The Heenan Family and Ted Dibiases Corporation. A collection of guys in a business arrangement.

𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗬 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞 𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛: 𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗢𝗥𝗬 𝗩𝗦 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞

Zelina’s on commentary for this one. It’s funny hearing her cut down her real life husband lol.

Lawler telling the rest of the booth the proper way to speak to a lady is amusing.

Zelina comes off commentary to distract Black and give Theory the upper hand.

Theory with a flurry of Torture Racks into turnbluckle throws.

Cool sequence.

Triangle arm bar on Theory reversed into a power bomb.

Good match.

Anyone else wanna see Black vs Undertaker in a Bomeyard match? Or are we still holding out hope for Sting.

Flurry of moves from Black results in a near fall.

Nice stiff back and forth.

Boom. Black Mass.

Aleister wins.

Looked even more deadly on slow motion replay.

Even the graphic for MITB is awesome. I really wanna see someone get thrown out a high rise window.
Maybe they can rehire Long Island Iced Z just for that? Or what’s Foley up to?

Shayna Baszler is not the most aesthetically pleasing individual I’ve ever seen.

Charley Caruso on the other hand….

Baszler beat Logan right into her release last week.

𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗬𝗡𝗔 𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗭𝗟𝗘𝗥 𝗩𝗦 𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜 𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟

Indi who? This is gonna be the equivalent of the Sheamus squash match on Smackdown.

Why do these jobbers keep putting themselves through this?

Baszler could legitimately pass as a relative of Sloth’s from The Goonies.

Baszler wins with her finishing move called “The Hills Have Eyes”

Just kidding. I don’t know what her finishing move is called.

Baszler breaks this jobbers are and is now beating her with a ladder.

She’s quite the aggressive man. Ma’am.

Jobber chick is crying. I doubt we ever see her again.

Oh Cedric is teaming with Richochet now.

This is the “we’ve stopped pushing both of you guys separately so we’ll do it again after you get over together” team.

Aaaaand more jobbers. I said I missed them on the Smackdown write up but this is overkill.

𝗖𝗘𝗗𝗥𝗜𝗖 𝗔𝗟𝗘𝗫𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 & 𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗢𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗧 𝘃𝘀. 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗘 & 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗡 𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗞

So We’ve got the 2 high-fliers against the Horny Twinks…umm Thorne and Vink.

Lawler tells us not to sleep on this new team.

It’s pretty safe to assume you’ll be ok catching some Z’s.

Vink’s a big dude though.

Razors Edge countered by Ricochet. Nice move.

Recoil into the Lumbar Check. Ricochet and Cedric win.

Could be a fun team going forward.

The Kabuki Warriors get interviewed backstage.

Asuka Makes funny noises. Lol

Lashley’s gonna show us how strong he is by flipping a tire in a gym.

Lana is there and I’m honestly way over this storyline.

𝗞𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜 𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗘 𝘃𝘀. 𝗡𝗜𝗔 𝗝𝗔𝗫

Full disclosure: I’m not a Jax fan. She’s terrible.

Hopefully this is a quick match.

Kairi smacks her butt at Nia lol

Jax goes all Mario on Bowser and swings Kairi around multiple times. Somewhere Cesaro is filing a trademark claim.

Nia throws Kairi into the bottom turnbuckle. Looked like a legit botch.

Jax picks Sane up like a bug and squashes her.

Nia wins.

If I’m in the MITB match with Nia, I’m taking the fight to the cafeteria and distracting her with a food fight.

Jerry Lawler is a commentary legend. Don’t @ me.

Rollins cuts a promo from an oversized chair.

I think it’s Nia’s.

The curb stomp is an iconic finisher and it’s a stain on Seth’s legacy that he ever used the pedigree.

I’m hoping that this Messiah gimmick continues and he continues to add to his flock.

Unfortunately WWE hates stables.

To be fair AEW likes them too much.

“Viking Raiders…we’re men with beards!”

They’re in a car eating chicken and singing. Hahahaha.

MVP! With that classic theme. “I’m Coming” ahhh the nostalgia.

MVP’s cuts a prematch promo. I love how it’s always repeated that guys like Crews are “one of the most talented men on the roster”…it’s always a guy whose continually booked as a jobber. And now Tom Phillips repeats it lol

𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗬 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞 𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛: 𝗠𝗩𝗣 𝘃𝘀 𝗔𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗢 𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗦

He’s definitely acrobatic I’ll give him that. But the generic goody too shoes attitude hasn’t gotten over in nearly 30 years.

Huge clothesline from MVP.

MVP smacks Apollo around and name drops old opponents: Kane, Bautista, Mysterio.

Crews reverses “The Playmaker” from MVP and takes control.

Big kicks from Crews into a running clothesline.

Somewhere Worldwide Titus is barking like a dog.

Playmaker on Crews. He kicks out!

Warrior Press into a standing moonsault into a standing shooting star into A modified powerbomb.

Apollo wins.

Solid match up. Let’s see if Crews can get some momentum this time. Ya gotta think there’s some TV time available now that a load of fat was trimmed with the releases last week.

Crews and Black advance to MITB so far tonight.

Ruby Riott is equally as terrifying to look at as The Fiend.

Liv Morgan is a goddess.

What happened to Lana and Liv being lesbians? Where’s Easy E and his HLA when ya need it?

𝗟𝗜𝗩 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗚𝗔𝗡 𝘃𝘀 𝗥𝗨𝗕𝗬 𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗧𝗧

Liv is actually pretty good in the ring now. She was greener than Ruby’s hair in NXT.

In Living Color?

Liv with her finishing move off the ropes to beat Riott.

Nice.

I could get behind a Liv push.

Lashley’s back in the gym. He flips a tire. Now he might flip a bigger one.

Riveting TV.

I’m sure this is what Lashley had in mind when he re-signed.

Good luck getting that Lesnar match now.

𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗬 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞 𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛: 𝗥𝗘𝗬 𝗠𝗬𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗢 𝗩𝗦 𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗣𝗛𝗬

Yup. Just Murphy. That’s somehow worse than Buddy Murphy.

“I’m not your Buddy, pal”- Vince McMahon, probably.

This should be a good one.

Raw and Smackdown have been pretty entertaining this week. I’m kinda digging getting back into it weekly.

A lot of quality wrestling going around currently. I’m also looking to do some retro reviews going forward. Saturday Night Shotgun, Superstars and Sunday Night Heat are on the docket right now.

When did Mysterio make Ludvig Borga’s hair style a permanent part of his masks?

Mysterio May have dislocated his finger. This upsets King deeply.

Some stiff back and forth on the outside between them. I’m liking the hard hitting style I’ve been seeing in a lot of matches lately.

Murphy’s really working Rey’s hand.

Sick hurricana on the outside to Murphy.

Rey can still go.

It’s still a pity he had to take the heat for taking Bryan’s assumed spot in the 2014 Rumble. The ‘go away’ heat was so palpable you would’ve thought if was X-PAC who came out.

Good back and forth as both guys reach into their arsenals.

Sweet trio of moves ending with a brainbuster from the former Buddy.

The wrestling has been really solid tonight.

Sick sequence from Mysterio! Canadian Destroyer to a 619 to a top rope frog splash!

Mysterio wins.

Black, Apollo and Mysterio will be climbing the corporate ladder.

Great match.

Rollins vs McIntyre officially official for MITB.

Charley Caruso is an absolute swan.

That’s right.

Did Charley just accept Garza’s advance?

NXT champion and Female John Cena is now in action. Woooooooo.

It’s funny to look at her now and then compare that to when she was in NXT.

Looking at her old photos I’m reminded of an Eminem lyric: “How you gonna breast feed me mom? You ain’t got no…..”

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗘 𝘃𝘀 𝗞𝗔𝗬𝗗𝗘𝗡 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥

Charlottes opponent tonight is Michonne from the Walking dead I think. Charlotte Negan’s her head with a kick as soon as the bell rings.

Carter gets the Upper-hand.

The Queen reverses it.

Spear.

Figure 8. Done.

Charlotte wins.

Woooooooo.

She keeps the hold on after the tap. Apparently she’s a face.

Back to Lashley in the Performance Center.

He pushes over a big tire. I mean it’s impressive. But..who cares?

Lana fawns over him. Go away Lana.

Zelina’s out for about the 13th time tonight. A lot of TV time. Not that I’m complaining.

𝗨𝗦 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝘃𝘀 𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗥𝗔 𝗧𝗢𝗭𝗔𝗪𝗔 (𝗡𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗜𝗧𝗟𝗘)

Nice that Tozawa is taking time out of chasing the Cruiserweight Title to be fed to Andrade.

Tozawa providing all the offence including a beautiful running flip onto Andrade to the outside.

Vega gets her classic distractions in to allow Andrade to turn it around.

Andrade channels his inner Eddie and gives us a “VIVA LA RASA”

Hammerlock DDT from the top rope and Tozawa is toast.

Andrade wins.

Zelina’s OG client is still her best.

Another pretty solid wrestling match.

Street Profits come out and dance on the announce table.

How about a heel team to go up against them?

Corporate Prophets?

No?

Bianca Belair is here ya’ll.

𝗕𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗔 𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗥 𝘃𝘀 𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗔 𝗚𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗧

Jobber city tonight. 3 hours to fill. But still.

The Street Profits need a vallum. Totally taking over commentary right now. King doesn’t know what to do.

Bianca does an impressive suplex/press combo. In control.

Bianca knocks Santana’s head off the Turnbuckle then transitions into a Kiss of Death finishing move.

Bianca wins.

I don’t think I ever need to hear the Street Profits on commentary again.

𝗠𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧: 𝗪𝗪𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗪 𝗠𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗬𝗥𝗘 𝘃𝘀 𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗟 𝗚𝗔𝗥𝗭𝗔 (𝗡𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗜𝗧𝗟𝗘)

McIntyre’s music is perfect for him. He feels like a legitimate champion. And the Claymore Kick is a good looking move if nothing else.

I’m gonna go ahead and predict Rollins will show up tonight.

McIntyre in control even with Zelina’s entire stable on the outside.

Huge headbutt from Drew.

They’re making him look like a legit monster the way they have Lesnar in the past. Makes sense though.

Is this where I make a joke about Heath Slater getting jacked and coming back to win the title and compete the 3MB Holy Trinity?

McIntyre on fire.

Shades of Undertaker! Drew lands a flip over the top rope onto the entire stable.

Huge Claymore. Garza’s dead lol

Drew wins.

No Seth. I guess he really was via satellite tonight.

Another solid show.

The Wrestiing world is providing some solid entertainment right now.

McIntyre another Claymore to Garza and one more to Theory to end the show.

𝗠𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁:
Some solid wrestling tonight but I’m gonna go with: Mysterio vs Murphy.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘔𝘖𝘛𝘕?