SMOKIN N’ RASSLIN

RAW APRIL 27th

It’s Friday and you know what that means?

Monday Night Raw!

Wait…that’s not right.

I must’ve been in a ganja-fueled coma, as the days are just flying by.

No matter the date, we still have an episode of Raw to watch, so let’s Cypress Hill this:

Inhale.

Exhale.

And let’s get to this….

Samoa Joe joins commentary tonight, replacing King.

Can’t complain about that.

We open up the show with MVPs VIP Lounge.

So is this what they brought Mr.Porter back for?

Ballin!

The 3 Raw participants for the MITB ladder match Mysterio, Black and Crews are the guests.

The show gets some spicy seasoning as Zelina and her business associates interrupt.

Zelina seems to think her Stable should replace the 3 participants in the MITB match.

Rey squeaks his disapproval and the men brawl.

Impromptu 6 man tag!

MYSTERIO/BLACK/CREWS vs ANDRADE/THEORY/GARCIA

Whose booking this show, Teddy Long?

Holla, holla!

Black and Andrade start off.

Whose Zelina cheering for?

Andrade with aggressive kicks to Aleister, leaving him uhhh Black and bruised.

Garza comes in and continues the pressure.

I gotta think Vegas odds have Black as the favourite.

Money in the Black.

Crews with a nice looking suplex on Theory

Synchronized flips over the top rope from Black and Crews to Garza and Theory on the outside.

Solid paced match.

Theory and Black are the 2 legal men back in

The ring.

Theory with some stiff punches to Blacks forehead.

Zelina’s stable keeps control with quick tags and a continued beat down on Aleister.

Black with some stiff kicks to begin the comeback.

Mysterio in, jumping around like a Hoppin’ Jalapeño.

The stable takes back control as Theory bests Rey down and then tags The US champ Andrade in.

Speaking of the US belt, is there any significance or purpose to it anymore?

DDT from Mysterio and then the hot tag to Crews.

Crews clears house as the stable goes down faster than Raw’s ratings.

Huge elbow from Andrade to Crews but he kicks out.

Crews with a powerbomb to Andrade.

3 count.

Crews/Black/Rey win.

Oh more Triple H excitement tonight.

Last weeks weird ass ending with Vinny Mac wasn’t enough apparently.

Charley Caruso time!

Apollo smacks the chipotle out of Andrades mouth.

US title match tonight.

Contract signing between Drew and Seth tonight. Whose going through a table?

More HHHighlights.

Good thing Raws 3 hours, there might be a chance this doesn’t extend into Smackdown.

Jeeez. Forgot how inflated Trish Stratus’ assets were.

They show Nia Jax absolutely pancaking Kairi Sane last week. She really is awful.

ASUKA vs NIA JAX vs SHAYNA BAZLER

Nyla Rose is more female than Nia Jax.

Was this even a match?

Not sure what’s going on.

Nia stands in the ring with a ladder held high as her music hits.

Match apparently never started.

Ok.

Lana and LaaaaashLey talk backstage.

Why is Bobby Lashley and Lana still a thing?

LASHLEY vs JOBBER

So this random jobber beatdown is gonna be a weekly thing eh?

Lashley with some power moves.

HUGE spear.

Over.

Lashley wins.

LASSSSSSSSH ley!

Samoa Joes really subdued on commentary tonight. It’s weird.

RUBY RIOT vs LIV MORGAN

Beauty and the beast.

Riott is no doubt good in the ring but woof. Buzz’s girlfriend.

Riott Kick to Liv.

Liv kicks out!

Liv’s finishing move! ‘Oblivion’ it’s called apparently. Ehh Not bad.

Liv wins.

More HHHighlights. 1997 King of the Ring. It’s funny thinking back to that match vs Mankind, and how much I was hoping Mankind would win. Now I realize how much more it made sense for Trips to win.

Can’t have a creature like Mick Foley wearing a crown right?

Nia Jax does an interview with the goddess Charley.

Charley continues to be a goddess.

Nia continues to be terrible.

The Viking experience/raiders/warriors/machines cut an old school promo backstage with The Fiends red mist lingering in the background.

Huss Huss Huss

Wait I think that was the Berserker.

Jinders back tonight!

No hindering this episode.

Tozawa comes out to be fed to Jinder.

TOZAWA vs JINDER MAHAL

Tozawa is in the cruiserweight tourney, why would he keep competing outside his weight class on Raw?

“Former World Champion Jinder Mahal”

Must have plans for this guy again eh?

3MB title match? Special referee AEWs own Heath Slater?

Jinder wins.

US CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ANDRADE vs CREWS

Back and forth match.

Apollo hurts his knee with a moonsault that misses Andrade on the outside.

Andrade working the knee.

Apollo off the top rope and blows his knee out (kayfabe?)

Apollo crashes.

Houston we have a problem.

The ref calls the match.

Andrade wins as Apollo can’t continue.

I wonder if this is to get Apollo out of the MITB match or if he’s legit injured?

HHHighlights continue.

The forming of Evolution.

Greatest faction ever?

The Street Profits vs Viking Raiders/Experience/Warriors/Machines next week.

Ricochet and Cedric Alexander come out together. No team name yet.

The jobbers they’ll beat are already in the ring.

RICOCHET vs TAG TEAM JOBBERS

The one jobber has worse sideburns than Matt Jackson

Cedric and Ric with a flurry of quick moves take the jobbers down.

Kick to the back of jobber # 1s Head by Ric while Cedric holds him results in a deadly looking DDT.

Cedric/Ricochet win.

MVP is going to manage the Horny Twinks team that lost to Ric/Cedric last week.

Ballin! says MVP.

Boring! Says the low amount of fans actually watching this.

D-Bry and Brie Bella are apparently having marital problems. Apparently Total Bella’s is still a thing.

Yawn again.

Apollo’s on crutches in the back. He’s crying. Maybe Titus can help him.

Contract signing time!

And the King is in the ring! Can’t get rid of him yet!

CONTRACT SIGNING MCINTYRE & ROLLINS

Apparently this match can’t take place without a signed contract. Weird. Lots of other ones seem to.

Seth in a suit.

What happened to his disciples? Did I miss the last supper?

Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.

Seth signs.

Drew smacks Seths head into the table.

Who saw this coming?

Murphy’s here! I guess I didn’t miss the last supper.

Murphy and Seth hug.

Claymore to Murphy.

Seth leaves and Drew celebrates as we go off air.

Another episode of Raw in the books.

It had its moments but was a bit of a slog overall.

What were your thoughts on this latest episode of Raw?