PROGRESS RETRO

PROGRESS CHAPTER 89: 26TH MAY 1988 RETRO SOUNDOFF – MAY 26, 2019

We are getting a flashback to the 80s with some unique matchups with your favourites playing 80s themed characters.

Getting a unique old school intro for this show so may be 80s themed completely.
Jim with cigarette in hand and filter on the cameras giving it a more 80s feel. He keeps pretending be high but sees someone dressed as the marshmallow man.
This whole segment is awesome. Jim is either high af or just really good at pretending.
Referee has come out with the old bow tie style ref look but with a MASSIVE mullet.

We get some video promos to understand who the gimmicks are. Ilja Dragunov is playing an American and we are getting someone else playing the russian guy.

DAVEY AMERICAN (ILJA DRAGUNOV) VS. IDRIS ALEXYEV (SUGER DUNKERTON)
Classic Communist Russian vs. American Capitalist type of match you saw through out the USA in the 80s.
Davey American is taking it to Idris Alexyev who apparently only has one eye.
Idris hits with a headbutt on Davey as American is coming off the top turnbuckle.
Davey American does a classic continue over the top rope like classic Flair. Commentators refer to Flair as “young up and comer Richard Flair.”
Idris calls his shot with the sleeper and locks it in and keeps it in as Davey keeps trying to fight out.
American hulks up and flys off the top but only gets a two count.
Alexyev blocks the Bionic Elbow from American before hitting with repeated no sell kicks.
Davey Hulks up properly this time and the fans a re all for it and even hits the Boot then leg drop but Idris kicks out before three.
Davey American gets the pinfall victory after hitting Ilja’s finisher.

Chris Brookes is dressed and acting like he The Doctor but not THE Doctor for money reasons. Connor Mills as Marty Fox is his opponent.

MARTY FOX (CONNOR MILLS) VS. THE DOCTOR (CHRIS BROOKES)
The nerd in me is really loving this one. You have The Doctor from Gallifrey against Marty who has come back from the future.
The Doctor offers Marty a sugar baby before the match starts. He ends up spitting out not trusting stranger candy.
The Doctor uses the massive sleeve from Marty’s jacket, which has not resized to fit him, to choke him.
Great that they are using the costumes for their gimmicks here in the match.
The referee for this match has no sleeves but does have a cigarette in his mouth.
Beautiful Doctor Cutter from The Doctor coming over the top rope from the outside.
I am just realizing that the show is in 4:3 aspect ratio.
The Doctor was reached under the ring and dumps out sugar daddies all over the ring with both men trying to throw the other into it.
With the ref distracted, The Doctor uses a Screwdriver before hitting an angel wings on the sugar daddies but only gets a two count.
The Doctor grabs the hoverboard on Marty but he misses and Marty uses it instead off the top turnbuckle but only gets two himself.
Ref doesn’t seem to care about the rule breaking at this point.
Marty Fox gets the pinfall victory after a shooting star press off the top.
Post match, things go black and we hear TARDIS sounds and we are back to the finish but The Doctor gets his knees up and he gets the pinfall victory this time. LOVE it.

Video promo from Teflon Sheik and Wally Handford, who they can’t find.

THE TEFLON SHEIK (DAN MOLONEY) VS. WALL HANDFORD (MARK DAVIS)
So Wally Handford is Waldo for North Americans. Now we get the fact they couldn’t find him for the video promo.
These guys can not keep a straight face at their own characters. Wally actually had to wipe the tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.
After going under the ring, Wally comes out the other side to hide in the middle of the crowd without Sheik or the ref seeing. The Crowd even chanted he can’t find him.
The fans now are chanting This is Progress while Wally runs from Sheik. Wally puts his hat on a staff member and stands beside him which fools the Sheik.
Wally gets in the ring while Sheik has his back turned after beating up on the Staff guy and tries the roll up.
Wally keeps avoiding the strikes from Sheik before waving only for Sheik to slap him.
After Sheik strips the costume off Wally pumps up and is wearing his real gear now as it was under the costume.
They’ve started going full wrestling match now that the costume is off Wally. Great way to book a comedy match is to have it turn into a good wrestling match.
Sheik is flipping the crowd the bird while he gets chopped repeatedly by Wally.
Wally gets the pinfall victory after a pull up piledriver.

We are apparently getting a six man between the evil yuppies and some fan favourites. Two are definitely meant to be the Bushwackers with Banks as one of them. Yuppies are Scala and Pretty Deadly. They are all basically Patrick Bateman.

JONAH BLUMENFELD, COREY HARRINGTON-SMYTHE & DAVE JONES (LEWIS HOWLEY, SAM STOKER & SID SCALA) VS. THE SHEEPWHACKER COUSINS (NIWA, TK COOPER & TRAVIS BANKS) – SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH
NIWA seems to have screwed up as he is dressed like he is a Dudley and doing that gimmick while Cooper and Banks are Bushwhackers.
While they are trying to figure who they are, the heels attack. Scala is wrestling without a shirt but still has the tie and suspenders on.
They are literally using plastic forks on each other which are doing as little damage as you’d think but they’re selling like it is a punch on an 80s wrestling show.
They have finally made it back to the ring after brawling all over the ballroom.
NIWA has tagged both members of the Sheepwhackers at the same time and then whack around the ring after being sent to the outside. It ends by them walking right in to each other.
Jones has put his hands on the sleeveless referee and he gets pushed over and rolled up by Cousin Banks but even with a fast count it was only a two.
Great spot with Harrington-Smythe yelling at the referee directly behind his back when the referee turns around he changes face.
Jones has just walked all the way up the entrance way and to the back to the surprise of everyone as the match is still going on.
Jones comes back with a clear rubber rain coat and hiding his hand and now wants tagged in and threatens his team with an Axe if they don’t.
Jones wants to chop off the tongue of Cousin Banks after he licked him with it. Cousin Cooper makes the save.
Brother NIWA hits the bionic elbow on Jones and tells Cousin Cooper to go up for the Whatsup Drop.
Cousin Banks hits one as well but keeps his head in the crotch of Jones. Makes me feel uncomfortable knowing Banks.
The Cousins hand Smythe to NIWA who powerbombs him from the second turnbuckle but the heels are able to break it up.
Sheepwhackers hit Jones with the 3D and they get the pinfall victory in another fun match.

Post intermission we are going to see Paul Robinson as Patrick Swayze and A-Kid as the Karate Kid.

THE KUNG FU KID (A-KID) VS. JOHNNY SWAYZE (PAUL ROBINSON)
Fans seems to be behind Swayze chanting that Johnny is their champion. So weird to see this guy as the fan favourite at a Progress show.
The way Swayze has added the Dance Style moves in to his offense.
Running gag on commentary with one of them being in love with Swayze but all his advances are denied.
The fans are chanting for Swayze to sweep the leg before Kid hits a great looking Spanish Fly.
The way the commentators react to moves that hadn’t been invented in the late 80s yet is hilarious.
Kid puts the headband back on after slipping off the top and does a crane kick off the top but only can get a two count before Swayze kicks out.
Swayze hits the Time of His Life and a Stomp to the back of the neck of Kid to get the pinfall victory.

A women’s match is next with Candy Floss being Candy Lauper and Mariah May is Mariah Eagan.

CANDY LAUPER (CANDY FLOSS) VS. MARIAH EAGAN (MARIAH MAY)
Mariah is warming up and notices that Candy Lauper is imitating her so looks like we are getting an 80s exercise video.
The referee gets in and shows his sexy moves to the delight of the crowd.
We’re on to pushups but Lauper goes for the pin on Eagan.
Lauper forces Mariah Eagen to submit in an okay match.

COLIN KLEIN (KYLE FLETCHER) VS. DIRTY DADDY OVERKILL (MARK HASKINS) W/ SWEET MAMA CHERRY (VICKY HASKINS)
Detective Inspector Colin Klein wants to make during the introductions even letting Jim leave the ring. He lets us all know he is the Big Dick and the sexiest officer in 1988.
Is Detective Inspector a rip off of Reno 911 as we all know who he reminds us of.
Haskins grabs the mic saying he is not going to jail tonight before asking if anyone has any drugs to sell him.
Colin Klein has to inform Dirty Daddy that being high is illegal and he is going to have to arrest him.
Dirty Daddy going full dirty attacking the possible injured knee of the Detective Inspector.
Looks like Colin Klein has been busted open in the mouth as he has some blood on his teeth.
The amount of penis innuendo’s on commentary during this one before they talk about Blue Chew.
Colin Klien literally is playing with his groin to get himself going again.
Sweet Mama Cherry gets on the ring apron to create a distraction allowing Dirty Daddy to regain the advantage.
Sweet Mama Cherry seems worried so heads to the american commentary team to grab a plate of “baking soda” and spills it all over the ring apron. She is trying to wake up Dirty Daddy with it.
Mark Davis comes out as Terrance, another cop, to arrest Mama Cherry for doing something Illegal and takes her off to Sexy 80s Jail.
Dirty Daddy hits Klein with the tray but it hypes him up because of the residue “baking soda” on the tray.
Colin Klein hits a spinning Flatliner and gets the pinfall victory.

#PROGRESS #ThisIsProgress #WrestlingCommunity #26thMay1988

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